


Say You Won't Let Go

by Musikenza



Series: You Don't Have To Be Who They Want You To Be [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, but also sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 02:52:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15015083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musikenza/pseuds/Musikenza
Summary: One possible scenario for Kara dealing with the aftermath of the Daxamite attack on National City.[Originally posted on my tumblr. An anonymous ask with the prompt: James Arthur's "Say You Won't Let Go"]





	Say You Won't Let Go

Pinks, purples, and light oranges silhouetted the city. Her hair blew lightly around her face in the cool breeze of the early morning. After the commotion of the night before, there wasn’t much to listen to aside from the stirring of the citizens of National City as they woke up or opened up for the day.

The same thing was happening in the building behind her. Two rooms away, a door opened and heels clacked strongly against wooden floor. They were instantly muffled against white carpet when they passed through the double doors. The doors swung shut. A heartbeat quickened from what could’ve been a long list of reasons but she narrowed it down to one. There was shuffling. She imagined a bag being set down, a jacket being removed. And then the door behind her snapped open.

“Good morning.”

Kara turned her head bringing Lena into her peripheral but kept her eyes on the rising sun.

“How long have you been here?” Lena leaned back against the balcony wall, choosing to focus on Kara rather than the sunrise. Kara shrugged, her cape shifting and swinging around her legs.

“An hour or so maybe. I lost track. It was a busy night.” She rolled her shoulders back, sighing even further into the wall, her hands digging at the concrete. Lena’s arms were loosely crossed across her chest, goosebumps erupting on her skin. “Did you sleep well?”

Lena’s eyebrow rose. “Sleep is a relative term. I tossed and turned.”

As if to emphasize, Lena yawned and Kara followed suit, not able to help herself. Lena dipped her head. “You look exhausted.”

Kara laughed through her nose. “Thanks.”

Lena nudged Kara’s arm with her shoulder, a soft smile spreading across her face. There were a few moments that seemed like everything was dissolving and no longer mattered but the smile couldn’t last forever. “That’s not what I meant. Lately, there hasn’t been a time where you haven’t looked tired. You’re pushing yourself to the limit and then taking one more step.”

Kara closed her eyes against the observation. It felt more than good. She couldn’t remember the last time she got a regular night of sleep. It was only ever a couple hours on a hard mattress at the DEO. Her apartment felt like a foreign country. “You’re falling asleep where you stand. I can’t be the only one who has noticed.”

“You’re not.” It was true but after Kara had snapped at everyone, they all backed away. Winn didn’t ask for game night. James stopped asking her to lunch. J’onn instituted rest time after so many hours in the field but had not told her to go home since. Alex rarely looked her in the eye anymore, keeping their conversations to the point and never straying from the mission. She needed to apologize and she knew that; she thought about it everyday but she didn’t know what could make up for the things she said. Some of them even rivaled the effects of red kryptonite.

It was the first time in days that Kara hadn’t been focused in on the sounds of the city. The quiet was intimidating and frightening. Her thoughts were all coming at once, everything she had been forcing herself to ignore. 

“I miss my friend.”

“I’m right here,” Kara replied dryly.

Lena pushed her hair back from her face. “No. You’re Supergirl. I miss Kara.”

“Is there a difference?”

“I’m worried that you can’t see that there is.”

Nothing Kara gave was ever enough to save everyone. She couldn’t do it as Kara Zor-El. She couldn’t do it as Kara Danvers. She almost failed as Supergirl but very recently that was the only part of her life that made sense. Her only obligation after she almost lost National City was to prevent anything of the sort ever happening again. She threw herself into that because everything else around her felt like it was crumbling. 

“I’ve seen the news. You’re everywhere nowadays.”

Kara shrugged.

“Except for the places where you need to be.”

Kara sharply turned her head. “What is that supposed to mean? National City needs me.”

“Sure,” Lena agreed, calmly, not perturbed by Kara’s heated response, “but you can’t forget about the people who’ve relied on you for years. You can’t push them away. You were someone before Supergirl. You just have to find her again.”

Her apologies were going to come a lot sooner than expected. It was so much easier to be Supergirl. To pretend that the persona was armor that protected her from her decisions and actions. But by doing so, she was losing the people she loved. And even more so, she was losing herself. She could feel it, everyday, a hole growing inside of her. It was foreign and ominous but she had started to welcome it because every time something began to overwhelm her, the hole would pulse and swallow it up. 

It hadn’t only taken the bad. It had started to consume the good. It was twisting her perceptions of her own morality and values. And she had let it because she had been wondering if her ideals had led her wrong. Self-doubt was feeding it. 

Kara had shut her eyes, feeling water build up and reopened them to see Lena turning her head, the sun glinting off her hair making it look more red than brown. “She was caring and sweet and simply ama –“

Her exhaustion brought with it a lack of impulse control. A sudden urge took hold and the sunrise fell on her list of beautiful phenomenon. Pink meant nothing when it came to green. Kara leaned toward Lena, laying a soft kiss on the corner of Lena’s mouth, her nose brushing Lena’s cheek. She could feel a small twitch in Lena’s lips before she set her forehead against Lena’s. She shut her eyes and let out a shaky breath. 

Her eyelashes fluttered against the bridge of Lena’s nose. She didn’t back up. She had created a warm and safe circle around Lena and herself. Lena’s forehead creased, her eyebrows bunching together. 

“Kara.” Her name came out heavy and pained. Lena regarded Kara through half-opened eyes. She didn’t move, which Kara was grateful for. In that moment, Lena was grounding her. 

After a few more moments, Lena repeated, “Kara.”

Kara refused to open her eyes but she felt a tear slip through and run down her cheek. Lena wiped it away gently, her finger caressing Kara’s cheek. Kara swallowed hard past the lump in her throat. “Everything seems to be slipping away. And I know people are angry with me and don’t know what to think but…I need you to believe in me.”

Kara reached up to hold onto Lena’s hand, settling their intertwined fists between them. It was a pure connection; she could feel Lena’s heart pounding. “I never stopped believing in you.”

Lena pushed their hands into Kara’s chest, the pressure was reassuring. “You don’t have to do any of this alone.”

Kara opened her eyes to sympathetic eyes and a sad smile. Kara shook her head so subtly it was almost imperceptible. She whispered, “Please don’t let go.”

“I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”


End file.
